I relate to Billy.
I was the one that did not fit it.
Fire engine red hair (I once asked my mom if I dyed my hair, would I tan!)
Wore dresses to school.
As a daughter to immigrants, I did not speak English for the first 5-6 years of my life.
I got teased for kissing my mother "thank you" on the cheek at school when she brought something I'd forgotten.
I was the one who was relentlessly teased. Always cast aside. Always last to be chosen. I was even teased because I adored to read.
Therefore, I was the one with the compassionate heart for the others that did not fit in.
I was the one that showed kindness to the "new kids" and the kids that came into the class mid way through the year.
I still wonder about a kid named Mark Lintner. So Mark, if you're out there, say hi.
If we are going to heal this country, we have to begin with ourselves. I own my history in a new way today.
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This song Perfect by Ed Sheeran came on as I was driving today.
At first it was gentle, the emotions bubbling up.
And then Wham! Tears streaming down my face. Sadness. Regret. Unanswered questions. More sadness. Grief.
Grief comes in waves. It comes unbidden.
I let the tears flow.
How much we take “tomorrow” for granted. How much we take each other for granted.
As I midwifed my ex-husband through to the other side, on two occasions we talked about dancing. Somehow I just knew when he was lucid, and when he was elsewhere yet could hear me.
I asked: who are you dancing with? My mother he said without hesitation …. I know my daughter and I smiled.
I remember him saying “it’s been so long” when I asked if he was dancing…. The sadness, even in his declined state, was so present, so heavy, so not-so-hidden in his voice.
That memory came slamming back as I heard this song.
Dancing was very much a part of of my childhood. I loved to go...
Why are you here? Do you Remember? ~ A high level existential musing on what your obstacles may be in your Remembering and overall well being.
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When was the last time you put yourself FIRST?
Are you wired to always put others first and then one day you find you are utterly exhausted?
Where do you need to break a barrier within your own habits so you can keep your cup full?
Here's some encouragement to put yourself first, especially as we move into an intense holiday seasons. When you do, Remembering more of YOU becomes easier.
I give you permission to allow yourself to do Absolutely.Nothing.For.A.Day and do what makes you happy.
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