The Sneaky Side of Grief

This chair.
 
It's older than I am.
 
My dad bought it for my mom when she was pregnant with me.
 
I don't even remember how it came to be mine? It's weird how sometimes I remember EVERYTHING about an experience, a thing and sometimes I have no idea ....
 
Why am I sharing this chair with you today? Because it's a weekend. And the last several weekends I have wanted to sit myself in this chair and call my mom.
 
I used to call her once a week - usually on a weekend. She was so funny in her inconsistencies. Sometimes she would talk and talk and talk. (I would put her on speaker and just listen) And sometimes she would say a few words, too busy or distracted to chat and the conversation would be over in just a few minutes.
 
I was grateful when she recognized my voice and had delight in hers.
Maybe I miss her more because it's January and I usually flew to Florida around now? (she lived there; I do not!)
 
I don't know. What I do...
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Last to be chosen? First to be teased?

 

This song.

I relate to Billy.

I was the one that did not fit it.

Fire engine red hair (I once asked my mom if I dyed my hair, would I tan!)

Chubby.

Wore dresses to school.

As a daughter to immigrants, I did not speak English for the first 5-6 years of my life.

I got teased for kissing my mother "thank you" on the cheek at school when she brought something I'd forgotten.

I was the one who was relentlessly teased. Always cast aside. Always last to be chosen. I was even teased because I adored to read.

Therefore, I was the one with the compassionate heart for the others that did not fit in.

I was the one that showed kindness to the "new kids" and the kids that came into the class mid way through the year.

I still wonder about a kid named Mark Lintner. So Mark, if you're out there, say hi.

If we are going to heal this country, we have to begin with ourselves. I own my history in a new way today.

Need someone who gets your pain? If you’re ready to grab life by the horns and...

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Fast Action Means Less Suffering

 

Not making a decision is still a decision! And your suffering continues. I give you permission to choose YOU.

www.NourishYourWayHome.com

Use REFRESH200 for $200 savings! Use by 1/31/2021

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Discover a New You Ready to Emerge

 

Find a breakthrough - from simple to utterly profound - as you work with me in my Nourish Your Way Home ~ a delicious journey toward God and food program. Live version coming 2/1/2021!

www.NourishYourWayHome.com

Use REFRESH200 for a $200 savings through 1/31/2021

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Don't Forget to Dance

This song Perfect by Ed Sheeran came on as I was driving today.

At first it was gentle, the emotions bubbling up.

And then Wham! Tears streaming down my face. Sadness. Regret. Unanswered questions. More sadness. Grief.

Grief comes in waves. It comes unbidden. 

I let the tears flow. 

How much we take “tomorrow” for granted. How much we take each other for granted.

As I midwifed my ex-husband through to the other side, on two occasions we talked about dancing. Somehow I just knew when he was lucid, and when he was elsewhere yet could hear me.

I asked: who are you dancing with? My mother he said without hesitation …. I know my daughter and I smiled.

I remember him saying “it’s been so long” when I asked if he was dancing…. The sadness, even in his declined state, was so present, so heavy, so not-so-hidden in his voice.

That memory came slamming back as I heard this song.

Dancing was very much a part of of my childhood. I loved to go...

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Your Ultimate Calling ~ Why Have You Come?

 

Why are you here? Do you Remember? ~ A high level existential musing on what your obstacles may be in your Remembering and overall well being.

To schedule your Clarity Call: https://livingwithgrace.as.me/Remember

Join me in my online community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/HolisticGatheringPlace 

 

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3 Benefits of a Full Spectrum Approach

holistic learning Jan 04, 2021
 

Learn the top 3 benefits of learning from a full spectrum approach. Learning should be fun, pleasurable and not something where you feel wrong for your past choices.

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Your Hot Mess Awakening

Waking up to your own Self is not always peaches and cream, but rather it can be a hot mess. It's messy, ugly, painful. And it's yours. No right. No wrong. It's yours.

Go beyond the lines. That's where your Awakening is.

 

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Self Care For The Holidays (And Any Other Time)

When was the last time you put yourself FIRST?
Are you wired to always put others first and then one day you find you are utterly exhausted?
Where do you need to break a barrier within your own habits so you can keep your cup full?
Here's some encouragement to put yourself first, especially as we move into an intense holiday seasons. When you do, Remembering more of YOU becomes easier.
I give you permission to allow yourself to do Absolutely.Nothing.For.A.Day and do what makes you happy.

  


Love the idea of an 11 month mentorship program that will help you stop the continual searching and start giving you a sense of hope and peace while giving you concrete feelings of forward movement you’ve been craving? Yes? Here's the next step; submit the application and let's get start the dialogue! 

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