Death In A Box

Three years ago this month my mother died. That call that you expect yet never want. She was the ever ready bunny. She wouldn’t let go – I believe because my father wouldn’t and couldn’t let her go. So she stayed.

Two days after the call I flew to Florida to be with dad – lots of things need to be addressed after a death – not to mention the emotional component. He’d had mother cremated; he’d selected an urn and wanted my opinion before making the final decision.

Seeing someone you love in a box – no matter how plain or fancy – is quite sobering. How can that once vibrant person (or animal) be distilled down to something so SMALL?

~~

This month I said goodbye to my Ginger and 10 days later I picked her up – in a box. And the experience was jarring.

As I drove there, my mantra was

I can do this; I can do this; I can do this.

And then the unexpected happened, and I became a puddle inside as the tears involuntarily...

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The Sacredness of Conscious Dying

The last challenge for me since my traumatic brain injury (TBI) last year has been to write – to capture a thought and actually be able to convert it into written words. This blog came, was “downloaded” and felt like my writings did pre-injury. I’d like to believe it has something to do with my feline companion, Ginger. Her gift to me. Gratitude.

 

A few years ago I was involved in an organization that came up with an entire list of line items of dos and don’ts in having and creating a sacred space. The notion is absurd. Indeed, I found it extremely offensive. One item on the list was no pets.

That was enraging to me, because my practice was in my home and my Healer Kitty was very much a part of each appointment. Some clients she greeted, left while in session and returned when we were done. She knew when to return and clean up the energetic debris. Other clients she literally had to touch them in their broken state. Some clients asked where...

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TBI – My Journey to the Mountain

A year ago today my daughter and I left for a road trip. It was to be a 12 day trip.

It lasted three days.

Twelve hours after leaving, I was flat on my back, in a pool of my own blood, one hand holding my daughter’s. The other holding the hand of a hotel staff member, in shock, under blankets with onlookers making comments as if I had gone deaf. We awaited the ambulance.

Thus began the long road back from a Traumatic Brain Injury.

It’s been a very long year.

The most obvious thing is that the most obvious injury gets the attention. The gushing wound on my chin got the attention. Two and a half weeks later I was diagnosed with two concussions. No wonder my world had become surreal. It had never entered my mind – no pun intended at all. I just didn’t understand what was happening to me.

I was on a journey to the mountain top without climbing the mountain.


I couldn’t read; I couldn’t spend much time on the computer. I could not enjoy YouTube videos...

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Jump Start Get REAL – Program Recap

I survived the 14 Day Jump Start Get REAL program! Yes!

The first extremely interesting thing I noticed: as much as I wanted the 14 days to be over, I am still choosing to pretty much follow the guidelines I learned. I do not want to immediately add in all the foods I’d intentionally eliminated because I could. I had “suffered” through this – the dull headaches, joint pain, the dizziness*, the longing for a scrambled egg!

If there are foods I’d eliminated that contribute to my true non-well-being, I can only ascertain that by adding foods back slowly. A few days passed day 14 and I’d added eggs, wine and yes, a tiny bit of chocolate…

So I am going slow because I like the results and want to know when my body gives me information/feedback I can identify the specific food.

What have I noticed:

I LOVE healthy fats – this is probably my biggest learning and appreciation – that eating a meal with enough healthy fats...

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Jump Start - Get REAL - Day 8 Update

I’m over the half way mark in this 14 day program. Blessed Be! Day 7 was the first day I felt more than Neutral. I had energy and motivation. The days prior to that had their individual, unique experiences (you can listen to those audio blogs for specifics), but Day 7 I was inspired.

I still miss chocolate. I miss softly scrambled eggs with just the right amount of salt. I miss my green smoothies.

This is a process that exposes habits, I’ve said before. Honestly, I’ve noticed that for the most part my habits are quite clean.

We’ve been encouraged to not snack between meals and I find I miss my half apple or celery with peanut or almond butter. So I bemoan: when do I get to eat that then?! So today I prepared a half an apple and ate it with lunch.

When I eat chocolate it usually is only a small square, and if I’ve an open bottle of Merlot or Zin, I pour just two ounces of that and that’s my dessert.

I don’t want to be so extreme...

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Jump Start Get REAL - Healthy, Friendly Fats

The first 24 hours of the Get REAL program and I noticed the silkiness of Healthy, Friendly Fats. It’s a unique texture, if it can be called that. Super rich, very filling and delicious.

Here’s a list of Friendly, Healthy Fats:

Avocado
Beyond Organic Amasai  
Coconut Oil
Olive Oil
Olives
Palm Oil
Seeds and Seed Butters (Flax, Chia, Hemp, Sunflower)
Nuts and Nut Butters
Wild Fatty Fish – i.e. Salmon

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Jump Start Get REAL ~ Health & Vitality in 14 Days – My Journey

In January I decided to participate in a 14 day Get REAL program which begins tomorrow and I am going to take you with me! It's a program that essentially will detox my body.

Five days before Day one, I received a Welcome email full of  information, encouragement and an outline of what the 14 days holds for me. Menus, recipes, shopping guides and so much more are all laid out beautifully.

This morning I took some time to go through the book, examine the menus (there is flexibility built in with regards to what I may choose to eat, so looking ahead to the various recipes was exciting… but then again, I love to cook!). I created my grocery list and off to Whole Foods I went.

Many of the things suggested are already in my kitchen. More about who I am and what my lifestyle currently IS coming up in another post.

So on this trip to Whole Foods I found myself looking and re-looking at my list, talking to myself, enlisting help from their staff to find items I...

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Put Your Life Together One Piece At A Time

My daughter found herself in unexpected (!) emergency surgery on July 4 – a big holiday here in the US. I’m guessing it will forever have its own memories for her….

She pulled out, figuratively speaking – (a friend did the reaching), a 750 piece puzzle to keep her busy that first week home. Puzzles are so magnetic and tempting, aren’t they? Everyone that came to visit was drawn to it. “Just one piece”, it seemed to beg, “just find one piece that will make me more whole.”

My daughter got so frustrated with it. Lots of blues, grays, browns. She was certain there were pieces missing (there weren’t). One day she held a piece and said “why don’t they work?” Indeed.

What I experienced while helping out was this:

  • When I tried too hard, it just would not work. (Attachment)
  • When I came back “just to see,” it was like I had a new pair of eyes and several pieces just spoke to me, almost as if telling me...
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