One of the most surreal things about the death of someone you love is going back into their home. Standing amidst their life, their things can be very swirling. The unkept quality of the everyday mundane things: the fork on a plate with a few bites of food remaining. The untidy bathroom. The dirty laundry in the hamper.
These things speak to the suddenness of their leaving us. While the person has been set free of their body, their pain, their life, we remain with the task of sifting through their lives in ways we don’t typically think about: the random note on a piece of paper tucked inside a book. A phone number for an unknown individual. We get to wonder at choices they made that reflected a part of them we had not met.
And if you’re like me, some objects bring memories flooding back — some happy, some sad, some regretful. And then we get to work through the emotions that come along with those memories.
If you are a “This is Us” fan or not, but want to witness someone’s journey through this process, I encourage you to watch Season 6; Episode 4 as Jack does just that after his mother’s death.
Watching that brought back memories of my former husband’s death (two years ago last month) and my dad’s (5 years ago). It can bring things up that still require healing. Bring it up, feel it, look at it and allow it to transmute.
A very budget friendly resource that looks at grief in a unique way is my book, Living with Grace. Grab a copy at your favorite retailer or, if you’re in the US, I currently offer a signed and sent copy for $22.